September 30, 2008
Esteemed enterprise programmer-

We've all been there:
You're ready to join the ranks of progressive whirl programmers and
contribute to the worldwide programming revolution. But your PHB has
told you to that you have to maintain tons of legacy brainfuck code
and it's holding you back. Now there's a solution, it's the ...

*** brainfuck to whirl translator!! ***

You can impress your PHB and assuage his fear of change with these
impressive facts about the
brainfuck to whirl translator (BTWT):

* Absolutely no optimization
* Nearly ONE-HUNDRED-FOLD(!) increase in code size
* Ridiculously inefficient resultant code

Best of all, you can break free from insufficiently obfuscated,
syntax-rich brainfuck programming right now! Attached is your free
trial copy of the BTWT, written in - of course - whirl! (Technically,
due to standard library omissions in official whirl, BTWT is written
in a bastardized obscure sub-dialect of whirl known as "perl", but
this will be corrected soon. Really. I promise.)

When BeeTwitLimited completes its Malaysian incorporation, we will
contact you about purchasing "BTWT Enterprise Edition". Rest assured,
you will want to.

regards,
Nate Thern
Founder, President & Chief Software Architect
BeeTwitLimited

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